I tried to dissect envy,

and found it to be a mixture of desire, anger and bitterness. - Such happiness. To want such a happiness. To want to be happy. Why is it that on this level, you seem to be the only person who radiates this kind of happiness? I will have no bite of it. Wanting it, to...

The sunlight streaming into this room,

light that sharpens into a point, the shape of a window on the white wall to my side. The bright light that almost splits into a rainbow. How warm, how lovely. - [This post is available in audio form at this link.] - I wonder if we can have a composite motion sensor system for...

I have no desire to lie,

so I won't. But I am also afraid of hurting you - which is why I am careful. (At least, now, a week on, this is far enough that I can say these things without sending us into agony. My cold hands, my temperate voice, my body sliding into hibernation in this cold.) - I...

Unlike the cold breeze,

my voice rises into the rafters where dragonflies roost, silent in death. Another cold night, with no rain, a good night to sleep without a care for the window. If only nights like this would last for days, with nothing more asked of us (or at least, not pressingly so) then I think I wouldn't...

8 days a week

Is what I wanted today. But I know that in another world where there were actually 8 days a week, then it'd be an extra weekday and not a weekend. But still, I wanted an extra day today. What should we call this feeling, since it is neither regret nor desire? Neither warm or cold,...

Clouds at eye level,

racing past my window. The sheets of rain, billowing, a sheer coat blurring out the view. The weather for today is: thundery showers, my prescription: a nap, and I no - resist the call of the pitter-patter beyond my earbuds: don't tune out from the professor's words. My meridians are wide open, so live vicariously,...

You are not a machine with broken parts,

but a human with unmet needs. - [This post is available in audio form at this link.] - The landline rings at four in the morning, and behind the surprise how odd it is to pray that it will be an annoyance - a scam call from another timezone? your heart dropping when you recognise...

Secret Forest S1 ep 10

When Eun Soo called Si Mok while on the back of the lorry, I guess I wondered, how long (and how did she find him) was she on the truck before she called. One of the miraculous consequences that Yoon-gwajang was behind them, or did he go with Eun Soo? Why would he, since Eun...

I can drive now,

but let's not drive each other up walls. - After 18 months, I can drive about legally on my own with a fluorescent triangle plate on the front and back of the family vehicle. All the same wide turnings and beating red lights, one extra paper and one more card in my phone case do...

I will not forget this emotion,

of knowing that I am not alone, and that I am so incredibly angry. - I will not forget this emotion, and I will not bury it in my heart. Instead I will keep it in my jar of hearts, pickling and gathering for a day that I might season a steak with it. Searing...