If we got good things in proportion to

however much we have suffered, then last Friday has wiped out my universal credit. - If the good things of these two weeks are to be paid back with the vengance in the week after, then, I will confess that I am afraid. - I have much faith that that is not how the universe... Continue Reading →

It is the spending of that time

(from 19 August, 9.02 am, left among drafts and forgotten until it wasn't.) which gets me the most. The time that is not mine to give in the first place. Of course, it's difficult not to apportion blame when we feel it is rightly deserved. So this slow, cold morning that is on its own... Continue Reading →

Dear Mr Ng,

it's a letter not to you, but for you: since you will not be able to read this the way the living do. - This post is available in audio form at this link, but I hope someday to get through it without the grief that still holds me. - If I said that we... Continue Reading →

Maybe that apple was not poisoned,

And maybe, behind that smile was not a knife. Still, you didn't eat the apple, nor did you stay to watch the smile fall. - Anyway, motherboards are green because of the solder mask, a kind of plastic polymer coating that protects the copper traces during the soldering process. While we can't make a computer... Continue Reading →

Against my own volition

my control broke and I did, in fact, break for them to see. - I am exhausted. I promise I swear I wasn't doing it to test them. If I wasn't then I wouldn't have broken up the way I did. But onto the evaluation of a response, there's quite clear, an attempt at distancing.... Continue Reading →

Back-dating, re-evaluating, revisionism

of the day, 19 February in three phases. 19/2 - 20/2 the raw text 21/2  a postscript 22/2 - 7/3 re-consideration 8/3 - back-dating, re-evaluation, [commentary] and analysis; (censorship) and posting. - You found this again. Your Kingston was the first work thumb drive that you had – primary school and the idea of work.... Continue Reading →

I lay down before you

as much as I am willing to. - Sometimes, you kind of want advice without strings attached. You look for general advice surrounding circumstances that have only happened once in your life. It makes things difficult for people to advise you. After all, advice, whenever rendered should be tailored as much as possible. When you... Continue Reading →

When there is no time,

make time for what you do want to do. - [5/02] I do a lot of things I don't really want to do. If cooking for oneself is a necessity and cooking for family is a chore, then only cooking for people who are neither is truly out of love. Out of perhaps, misguided devotion.... Continue Reading →

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